mr-onion's Diaryland Diary

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Ebony & Ivory

Tonight was Cap'n Crunch's birthday party at Rum n' Coke and I was the first sad fucker to leave for home.

heigh ho...there's no point in following the pack as they were jiggying to a tripped up version of "Let Your Backbone Slide" when I left.

Being Canadian, and growing up around 100% white people, I didn't know there were other mixed race people out there in Canadia besides me. I saw this girl on the bus every morning on the way to school and I ached to talk to her; she was a black girl with a brown afro and green eyes and I wanted to be her friend but never found the guts to say anything.

Cap'n Crunch is the only friend I have who's in the same boat: her dad is black and her mum is white and she totally identifies with black culture. My parents are the opposite and I always just felt strange, not part of either, not black enough to be black and not white enough to be caucasian. She pointed me to Laurence Hill's books about growing up as a mixed race person in Canada and it was indescribable; it's like feeling human for the first time when everyone always told you that what you are is mulatto.

It's not nice to refer to people in dog terms and I resent being labelled this or that. I'm me.

* from Mervyn Peake's "Gormenghast" *

"I am Fuschia. I am me. Don't be frightened. Wait and see."

Crunchy calls us Kraft Caramels.

1:14 a.m. - 2004-10-23

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