mr-onion's Diaryland Diary

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Almost Extinct

Sighting of a Rare Species:

I can't take the credit for this, because Cap'n Crunch was the first one to notice this. After a long, boozy Sat. afternoon in our local pub, I got the bright idea for us to go to Gossipz, the local cougar bar, to kick some karaoke ass.

By the time all five of us had walked to Gossipz, we'd all sobered up and just sat down looking sheepish, hoping our friends wouldn't make us sing. We do pity that girl who couldn't sing "Funky Cold Medina", but not much.

Crunchy: *frozen rictus of horror on her face*

Onion: What's wrong? Are you going to be sick?

Crunchy: *pointing* L-l-look at that! I didn't know there were any left in existence.

Onion: Holy fuck - it's a sweater dress.

Stu: Why would she wear that outside, in front of people?

Onion: I bet she's a retired hooker who married one of her johns. I must know! *follow the suspect into the Ladies toilet*

(7 minutes later I emerge from the Ladies Room)

Onion: O-yes, correct and correct. She has a tattoo on her ankle. Definite ex-hooker territory here.

Warwick: How can we be sure? Was it a rose tattoo on her ankle, that would give me some peace of mind that we're right.

Onion: O-yes, you betcha it was, except half of the rose had gotten swallowed up in her ankle wrinkles, now it looks like a bleeding twig.

4:42 p.m. - 2004-09-20

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